One Line Jokes

One Line Jokes

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that person considered a hostage situation?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

So what's the speed of dark?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left