Work vs. Prison
IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.
IN PRISON....... ..they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.
IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON .........you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they are called managers.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Men
Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home when it happens."
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
A: They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women?
A: Exchange him.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.
Q: Why are men and parking spaces alike?
A: Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are too small.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why are men like public toilets?
A: They're always vacant, engaged or full of shit.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you.
Q: Why are blond jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: Half an hour of begging.
A: Men usually miss them.
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home when it happens."
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
A: They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women?
A: Exchange him.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.
Q: Why are men and parking spaces alike?
A: Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are too small.
Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why are men like public toilets?
A: They're always vacant, engaged or full of shit.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you.
Q: Why are blond jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: Half an hour of begging.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Samishra.co.nr
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